Here's the Scoop by Brian Sweeney

Brian Sweeney has been the author of “Here’s the Scoop” for more than 20 years. The column usually deals with the lighter side of life and the writer has been known to mix a bit of fiction in with the facts. Brian has received six awards for his column in the annual New York Press Association’s Better Newspaper Contest.

Here's the Scoop: March 30, 2011

Zoo story
Like most people, I wasn’t really itching to go to the hospital. Well, that’s not entirely true. I guess I was, but I didn’t know it at the time.

You see, what started as some innocent itching landed me in the hospital last week. It wasn’t like I wandered into a patch of poison ivy, began feeling some discomfort and then realized I was surrounded by a sea of this irritating weed.


Here's the Scoop: March 23, 2011

A game of chance?
I was recently introduced to Quelf. You may be asking yourself why I’m not using spell-check. I am, but I had to add “Quelf” to my list of accepted words, because this was an unfamiliar term for my computer.

I’m guessing that many of you have not heard of Quelf either. If you’re trying to figure out what Quelf is and you think it sounds like a new energy drink or something, please keep reading.
However, if you are actually familiar with Quelf, I know that you’re automatically extending sympathy in my direction.


Here's the Scoop: March 16, 2011

This takes the cake
I attended my first Cake Walk last week. If Napoleon Dynamite had been there, I’m sure he would have called the event: Sweet. He wasn’t there, as far as I could tell. I guess, then, I’ll have to use my own description: Unusual. Interesting. Memorable.


Here's the Scoop: March 9, 2011

The simple pleasures
A Wild Weekend it was indeed. To recap: temperatures rose into the 40s on Saturday and climbed a bit over 50 on Sunday. Your basic “lamb” arrival, about three weeks early. For a few hours anyhow.

With substantial amounts of snow still piled all around, and heavy rain accompanying Sunday’s balmy temperatures, visions of flooding danced in people’s heads, and also in many basements.


Here's the Scoop: March 2, 2011

A real eye-opener
There are some things that one never wants to hear. “Honey, the basement is filled with water,” fits into this category.

Knock wood, but I haven’t had those words spoken to me lately. I have, however, heard something equally as panic-inducing: “Dear, the coffee machine isn’t working.” On a Monday morning, no less.