Here's the Scoop: June 11, 2014

Father’s Day — Only For The Handy
TV shows and newspaper flyers have been filled with reminders in recent weeks — Father’s Day is right around the corner.
Let’s face it, Father’s Day takes a backseat to Mother’s Day. That’s just the way it works. I’m OK with that — children don’t need that kind of pressure within the span of little more than a month. Wives either.
Mother’s Day, as we all know, is filled with flowers, candy and cards. I’ve never seen the numbers, but I’m willing to bet there’s a huge discrepancy in the number of cards purchased for the two occasions. I like cards all right, but I much prefer the kind that are loaded with cash. But, that doesn’t usually happen on Father’s Day.
Really, though, who needs cards when you can have power tools? The aforementioned advertisements make it pretty clear that getting Dad a piece of equipment that can drive screws, cut something or keep the grass in check will make for a happy father. A new barbecue grill might also do the trick. I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate.

Not my specialty
Those who know me, realize that I’m the original Unhandy Man. I’m not good with the mechanical process. A repair job that would take the average person 15 minutes usually involves hours for me. Maybe days. The lapse is often caused because of a trip to the Emergency Room.
My family is well aware of my “skills.” Or lack thereof. Whenever we have a larger project on the schedule, I’m wise enough to know it’s a good idea to have the work done by others. Sure, this can be expensive, but I’ve learned that offering to “help” professionals with their work usually involves a nice discount.
“Really, we are happy to cut our hourly rate — just stay away, please!” is a common response to me offering to lend a hand. My guess is they don’t like going to the hospital, either.

Up to others
Contractors don’t generally get me Father’s Day gifts, so that leaves family members with some tough choices. The “grill option” listed above isn’t really a good gift idea for me, although I do love food cooked outside. I’m not bragging here, but I am pretty decent at lighting a charcoal fire (even better since we got the grill with the electronic start). I can also scrub the grill rack to a sparkling shine. The actual cooking part, however, is not my area of expertise. I must boast a bit, that I’m pretty skilled at pre-meal tastings.
All of which leads me back to the Father’s Day gifts that would be appropriate – or inappropriate – for me. Not trying to sound greedy about this, but I do like getting gifts. Actually, that’s not true — I simply like to make the gift-givers feel good about their deed. And, if the gift doesn’t result in a trip to the Emergency Room, we all get a warm and fuzzy feeling.
I’m guessing a card might be the best bet, after all. A nice, thick card. Those are my favorites.
— Brian Sweeney