Here's the Scoop: January 8, 2014

Rocks in my head
It’s probably a good bet that I’m not the only person who logs on to the Internet each day to get a full update of Kardashian mayhem.
OK, so maybe that’s not entirely true, since I’m not really sure how many Kardashians there are and why, exactly, the folks who deliver the stunning Yahoo Home Page “news” think that anyone cares. We don’t. Not one bit. Stop this madness, please.
I know, it would be simple enough to change my Home Page, but there are usually just enough non-Kardashian (K-folks) stories on there to keep me from doing so.
For instance, I think it’s perfectly fine and newsworthy that we receive daily updates of which celebrity “rocked” a bikini while on vacation. And where. As long as the photos don’t involve any of the K-folks.
It’s actually becoming hard for me to keep track of all the bikini rocking that celebrities perform. They should get together and form a “rock” band, I think.

Still confused
Let me be honest here for a moment, I’m not totally sure what “rocking” a bikini means. I think it’s a compliment, but I can’t swear that for a fact. Part of the problem is that I’m not usually hanging out at the beaches where the rocking is taking place. No one invites me.
The “in” crowd certainly knows where and when to rock bikinis. So far, I haven’t seen any instances of this activity taking place in the Catskill Mountains. At least not at this time of year. We can hold out hope for summer, though.
Naturally, bikinis aren’t the only articles of clothing being rocked by famous folks. Little Black Dresses and various designer gowns are constantly getting the “R” treatment at movie premiers and award shows.
All of this rocking got me to thinking that it must be kind of depressing for those celebrities who have never been praised for their abilities to rock a swimsuit or a designer outfit. Imagine reading about and seeing all those images about your peers rocking this and that and you’re never included. Worse yet, suppose you’re a celebrity who has been trying to rock an outfit and nobody notices? That can’t be good for one’s ego.

Gotta keep track
For research purposes, I quickly scanned my Home Page to determine who was rocking what over the past few days. Ironically, before I got to any rocking news, I came across a “story” that one of the K-folks was grieving for her boyfriend’s father who had recently passed away. That’s understandable and admirable. However, this leads me to believe that celebrities “grieving” loved ones will soon be replacing rocking as headline-making news.
This has to be bad news for famous folks whose loved ones aren’t passing away and who never get recognized for their abilities for rock clothing. What’s a celebrity to do? Well, they should probably consider the same thing I should be doing — finding a new Home Page.
In the meantime, I’ll be keeping a keen eye on the Yahoo Home Page, because I bet the K-person referenced above rocked a great outfit at the funeral.
— Brian Sweeney