Here's the Scoop: December 28, 2011

Picking up a few things for christmas
Now that Christmas is in the rearview mirror, it seems like a good time to take a look at “The Most Shoplifted Items of the Holiday Season.”

This isn’t a list I compiled; it’s one that turned up recently in an Internet story. Where else?
I’m pleased to report that I forgot to put “shoplifting” on my list this year, so I didn’t perform this deed. Apparently, many others prefer the “lifting” part of shopping over the traditional type.
For those of you (and I hope this applies to all of my readers), who also resisted the temptation to shoplift this season, I will provide some interesting findings about the holiday items most often taken without a time-consuming (and money-consuming) stop at the checkout counter.

Please take a few moments to consider what you think would most shoplifted goods. Almost certainly, you are incorrect.

Had enough time? OK, it’s filet mignon. I told you it wouldn’t be what you thought.

According to the article, “So many people are tucking choice cuts of meat under their jackets, that supermarkets are now considered the stores with the most theft.”

This may be true, but where do folks in warm-weather areas hide their booty? Probably better not to know.
Placing No. 2 on the Most Shoplifted List is Jameson Irish Whiskey. Being certified Irish myself, this is much easier for me to understand. Still, I know for a fact that the local liquor retailers much prefer when “customers” pay for the items they take from the store. They’re funny like that.
Up next on the top Holiday Theft Items would be: Electric Tools…of cords!

Right number
The iPhone 4 clocks in at No. 4. These things are really cool. And, well, I am a huge Apple fan and I want to see the company continue to thrive. But, I understand why these phones are a hot number for thieves. I’m not saying it’s right. Just that I get it.

Gillette Mach 4 razors are up next. Theft of these items can actually be seen as a positive because it’s quite possible that the thieves want to look good so they can go on job interviews, rejoin the workforce — and STOP STEALING!

Axe deodorant and body wash take sixth-place on the list. According to the story, these items are not just being randomly “picked up” by folks feeling a bit grubby. No, somehow enterprising shoplifters are managing to help themselves to mass quantities of these popular items, selling them at flea markets and corner stores. Sounds like sweaty work.

No. 7 on the list is Polo Ralph Lauren clothing. See justification for this type of theft under the Gillette Mach 4 heading.

Toys for tots
Let’s Rock Elmo is a being stolen at a pace fast enough for eighth-place. Hey, don’t blame the kids for this — seems like it’s mom and dad doing the Rock…and rolling…without paying.
Chanel No. 5 finished ninth. Four places too low, in my book.

Nike shoes round out the top 10. It seems that some folks who don’t want to shell out big bucks for this trendy footwear are happy to leave their flip-flops inside the store and depart wearing some new shoes. Sneaky.

If you received any of the items on this list, they were probably legitimately purchased. So, don’t worry. Really. If you happened to be among those who grabbed a few items without the hassle of forking over payment, well, I hope you at least smell better.
— Brian Sweeney